As you know, I’m all about finding a new life and a new path through running our law firms. Whatever change you’re making, whether it’s starting a solo firm, giving your law firm a makeover to take it to the next level, or perhaps even leaving the law, every single part of that starts with mindset.
It’s okay to take the next step that’s right for you. Many people are doing that right now. Let me show you.
In these blog posts, we’ll get insights on having the right mindset from Goli Kalkhoran, well-known for her podcast, Lessons From A Quitter. She quit the law and started a different business. I love her point of view. When you visit her website, it’s right there: “It’s never too late to start over.”
None of us are quitting, I hope, but Goli’s insights on mindset help so much.
Managing your mind
The following are thoughts and insight direct from Goli.
Mindset is the most important thing. I wish I had learned to manage my mind before. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and many years of really struggling.
Most of us fail with goals because mindset stuff gets in the way. They’re thoughts like:
- Who am I to do this?
- What if I fail?
- Everyone’s going to laugh at me.
- I’m going to be embarrassed and humiliated.
- What is everyone going to say?
Do those sound familiar? Whenever you’re about to do something different and daring, what does your mind tell you?
I wanted to start the podcast in 2016, but I waited for two years because I couldn’t get over my own brain. I couldn’t get past my own thoughts.
When I stopped working, my close friends and family knew, but my bigger circle didn’t. None of my Facebook friends, law school friends or federal public defender friends knew I’d stopped practicing. I remember having a panic attack the night before my podcast launched. I was so terrified of what everybody was going to say when they discovered it.
What is everyone going to say?
Your brain is trying to keep your safe
These intrusive thoughts happen partly because of our biology. When you get really uncomfortable with things that you’re not familiar with, your brain will try to keep you safe. Your brain tells you: It might be dangerous there. Better stay here.
I’ve learned how to quiet it down and even laugh at it: Thank you, brain. We’re going to be okay.
You will still have these thoughts. It’s these neural pathways you’ve built for so many years. Decades and decades. So, it’s not surprising that it takes time and serious effort to deal with that.
We continuously deal with it. I do. It’s just that I don’t make it as big of a deal now. I won’t let it stop me.
Do it anyway
Fear is a big part of why we worry and fall short of our goals. You need to know and tell yourself, it’s going to be fine. You’ll be scared and you’ll be out of your comfort zone and I even literally thought I was going to die.
I realized that’s just my brain being dramatic. It’s uncomfortable, what you’re planning to do, and your brain is panicking. Hush your thoughts. Do it anyway.
You are 100% creating your own reality
We all know that mindset is essential. People talk about it a lot. I literally want to shake people because they don’t understand fully. Mindset is everything.
Here is a favorite quote from Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Yes, you can do whatever you put your mind to. But it’s not even about that. The reality is this: you are 100% creating your own reality.
- Be very conscious of the things you allow through your mind, because that affects how you act, and then that influences what ends up happening in your life.
- Your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings create your actions. Your actions or behavior reinforce your thoughts.
It all starts and comes back to your thoughts.
Weight loss is a good example. It’s no big mystery. It’s taking in fewer calories than you burn or burning more than you take. That’s it.
It’s a billion-dollar industry. Keto. Yoga. Paleo. CrossFit. Any of these things tell you what to do. Sign on and you have your marching orders. Then your mind gets in the way.
- This is too hard.
- I’m never going to stick to this.
- I’m too lazy.
- I’ll die if I don’t have -this- or -that.
These thoughts make you feel less motivated, or that there is something wrong with you. Then you feel shame on top of that. You stop working out. You just lie on the couch and maybe even binge on comfort food.
You probably don’t even realize that you haven’t dealt with any of your thoughts. You just go down the shame spiral, which demotivates you even more.
But if you thought the opposite of those thoughts above (This is simple! I can do this!) you’d feel confident in yourself (I’ll stick to this!), able to do anything and achieve your goals.
I can’t overstate how much the work of managing your mind is important for your success, happiness, and peace in life.
We usually think that it’s an action that changes how we feel.
If I quit my job, I’ll be happy.
If I start working out, I’ll feel like a healthy person.
It doesn’t work that way. That’s why we end up quitting our goals. Because we’re always trying to start or change with action, not our thoughts.
Deal with your mind first. Get rid of all the blocks you have, so you can become that person you want to be.
If you’d like to learn more about mindset, sign up for my Six-Figure Solo program! Six-Figure Solo now comes in three tiers – Executive, Solopreneur, and CEO. Sign up here!