Mindset is everything. You create your reality with your mindset. So, it’s not surprising that the two biggest obstacles to your success originate from your mind.
In these blog posts, we’ll discuss insights on mindset from Goli Kalkhoran, well-known for her podcast, Lessons From A Quitter. She quit the law and started a different business. I love her point of view. When you visit her website, it’s right there. “It’s never too late to start over.”
None of us are quitting, I hope, but Goli’s insights on mindset in these blogs help so much.
We’ve talked about managing your mind. Being aware of what you need to work hard on is the first step. Now, let’s discuss the two biggest obstacles to your success and a positive mindset.
All the fears we have fall under two obstacles
All the fears that make us hesitate or completely reject something fall under the impostor syndrome and worrying about other people’s opinions.
Impostor Syndrome Is:
- Feeling like you’re a fraud and fearing other people finding out.
- Feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.
- Thinking: “I’m not good or smart enough.”
- Thinking: “I don’t know enough.”
Impostor Syndrome shows up a lot. You don’t realize you’re doing it because it sounds rational. The thoughts that creep in seem natural, and may feel true: “I have to do this other stuff first before I do this.” “I don’t have a logo yet.”
Your mind creates all these rationalizations of why you’re inadequate or need to do more first.
With all these things crowding your mind, your brain shifts into protective mode. Remember, as we said in the previous blog post, your brain works hard to protect you. And in the impostor syndrome, it protects you from your thoughts and anxiety by making you distract yourself so that you don’t get overwhelmed with fear.
Do you find yourself procrastinating a lot?
We procrastinate instead of facing and dealing with the issues of anxiety, inadequacy, and the feelings that overwhelm us. It’s a reflex.
People beat themselves up about procrastinating and label themselves a “terrible procrastinator” because they’re not focused or they get distracted. However, it’s that no one taught them about mindset.
Procrastination is a numbing technique, just like eating, alcohol, scrolling Instagram, and anything else that gives you short-term endorphin hits that calm your anxiety and help you avoid your feelings and thoughts.
You don’t even realize your thoughts screaming at you.
- Oh, this makes me feel uneasy.
- I don’t want to be doing this.
- I don’t know how to write. I’m not a good writer.
- I’m just going to scroll Instagram for ideas.
You need to be aware of your feelings and thoughts, and how they influence your behavior:
- Notice and ask yourself: Why am I reaching for my phone for the eighth time in the last five minutes?
It could be imposter syndrome acting up and getting in your way. And, it takes work to get rid of that mindset.
What Other People Think
We don’t even realize that we’re looking for other people’s opinions, and they’re recognition and praise to validate us and what we do, just as the mere thought of their negative comments freeze us up.
Getting hung up about what other people might think was my biggest block. I never thought I would get over that fear. There will never be a time that I don’t care what anyone else says. So, my work was about learning how to deal with fear instead of beating myself up for not being able to get past it completely.
And what’s been amazing to me is how quickly I’ve made the shift once I started doing this work. The more I started liking myself, the more I started changing my thoughts about the person I am.
- “I’m sure people won’t like me and that’s 100% okay.”
- “I don’t have to please everybody.”
- “I like me, and I like what I’m doing. I think it’s gonna help some people, and so I’m going to do it.”
Those empowering thoughts seem easy, but it’s a huge mountain to climb.
Once you do mindset work and you start dealing with negative thoughts, other people’s opinions just dissipate. They no longer matter. They don’t hold as much weight as we have been taught to give it our whole lives.
These two fears and how to overcome them are interconnected. Once you become aware of your mindset, you’ll realize that your fear of what other people will think are also the things you think yourself secretly, the negative things you think about yourself. Knowing that helps you tackle these worries together.
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